The Great Gaymathon Review #74: Pocket Card Jockey (3DS)

Game: Pocket Card Jockey

Genre: Puzzle

Developer: Game Freak

Publisher: Nintendo

System: 3DS (eShop)

Release date: 2016

You know a game is full-on bonkers when even telling someone it combines solitaire and horse racing doesn't convey how bonkers it is.

I'm sure some of you are wondering, can a title produced by the folks (at Game Freak) who gave the world the decidedly tame Pokémon series really be all that bonkers?

Consider that a proper Pocket Card Jockey playthrough means encountering and experiencing all of the following:

* getting trampled to death by an adorable peg-legged horse
* hyping up your solitaire skills while begging an angel to send you back to earth
* coming up with silly names for steeds of all shapes (one has a fiery mane, one looks like a dragon, one is dressed like a ninja, one seems to be a robot) and colors
* breeding those equines to produce offspring that are faster, more resilient and, hopefully, have a better temperament than their parents
* racing all of the above for a colorful cast of managers (including a spoiled rich kid with a pompadour, an effervescent pop idol and an evil scientist)

Oh, and last bullet point involves quickly clearing a series of golf solitaire tableaus--which also is pretty bonkers, if you ask me.

Of course, none of the wackiness described above means much if the rest of what’s on offer is a bore. Thankfully, it’s not. In fact, Pocket Card Jockey is as addictively and delightfully fun as it is brilliantly weird.

It’s like Tetris in that it’s the kind of game that prompts you tell yourself, “just one more race. OK, maybe two more.” And the next thing you know, you have no idea where the last couple of hours went.

That’s due, in large part, to how adroitly Game Freak's designers were able to turn Pocket Card Jockey's many disparate elements into a bite-sized title that's far more than the sum of its parts.

Actually, it goes beyond that. They also were able to combine this game's many components in such a way that you rarely think of them as separate entities. Rather than thinking of this as a solitaire game or a horse-racing or -breeding game, Pocket Card Jockey is very much its own thing--kind of like how the Famicom Disk System title, Otocky, is its own thing despite blending the shmup and rhythm genres.

All that said, more than a few of this title's elements deserve to be singled out for praise. One is its overall art style, which is about as adorable and appealing as can be. Another is its control scheme, which relies almost entirely on the 3DS' touch screen--and to great effect. Its localized text, which is both darker and wittier than most will expect from a Game Freak-made release, is similarly on-point. Finally, there's its soundtrack, which may be the best to appear in a 3DS game yet.

As for Pocket Card Jockey's negative aspects, I honestly can't think of any at the moment. Some may point to the abundance of text that's offered up here, or the fact that it becomes a tad repetitive over time, but I personally don't consider them to be worthy of complaint.

If you absolutely need me to rip on some portion of Pocket Card Jockey, this will have to do: should you be anything like me, you'll put a lot of time into this digital title. Don't believe me? Consider that I spent about 70 hours with the Japanese version of the game and I've spent nearly as many hours with its North American counterpart.

In other words, you probably won't regret spending just under $7 on it--unless, I guess, you have an extreme distaste for anything that can be described as "bonkers."

See also: my Pocket Card Jockey guide and my previous 'Great Gaymathon' reviews

So, who's gonna grab Gotta Protectors (Protect Me Knight 2) from the NA 3DS eShop ASAP?

I'm not sure how this news avoided pinging my radar until now, but apparently the localized version of Ancient's Protect Me Knight 2--known as Gotta Protectors in this part of the world--hit the North American 3DS eShop yesterday.

In case this is the first you're hearing of the game, it's a portable sequel to the Japanese developer's first Protect Me Knight title, released digitally for the Xbox 360 in 2010.

That game was a total blast--while also being a blast from the past--and this one is even better. Specifically, this on-the-go follow-up offers a slew of playable characters, 100 levels, four difficulty levels, four-player co-op via Download Play (only one person needs to own a copy of the game), a map editor that uses QR codes and more.



Oh, and to top off that pixelated goodness, Protect Me Knight 2--er, Gotta Protectors--features a soundtrack that was concocted by the brilliant Yuzo Koshiro. (If you've played 7th Dragon III Code: VFD, Half-Minute Hero or any of the Etrian Odyssey titles, you've heard what he's capable of in this medium.)

Is all of the above worth a cool $12.99--which is the price tag currently attached to this tiny tower-defense title? Based on my admittedly limited experience with the Japanese version, I'd say yes, especially if you tend to be a fan of the genre.

One last thing: those of you who are happiest when you're defending towers--or princesses, or any other entity that needs protecting--should check out Witch & Hero II as well. It's just $3.99 right now, which is a great price for what I consider a must-have 3DS game. (Read my Witch & Hero II review to learn why I hold it such high esteem. Up for more? Read my review of the first Witch & Hero, too.)

Manual Stimulation (Hana Taaka Daka!?, PC Engine)

There's just something about a Taito-made PC Engine instruction manual.

And I'm not just talking about the colorful illustrations that nearly always serve as their covers, like they do in the case of Parasol Stars or the shmup that serves as the focus of this post.



In fact, I'd go so far as to say I usually prefer the interior pages of your typical Taito-produced PC Engine manual to its cover--and that's saying something considering the interiors of most of these booklets are in black and white. (Check out the one that accompanies copies of the company's KiKi KaiKai for more evidence.)

How can a handful of black-and-white spreads be so appealing? The opening salvo in the Hana Taaka Daka!? manual (see below) should go a long way toward answering that burning question.



Still not convinced? Keep reading--and scrolling. Like almost all of Taito's PC Engine instruction manuals (the above-mentioned Parasol Stars and the company's Rainbow Islands CD-ROM2 port are noteworthy exceptions), the one made for Hana Taaka Daka!? is crammed full of glorious, color-free art.



Actually, simply calling what appears throughout this particular pamphlet "art" is kind of selling it short, if you ask me. Just look at the sample pages above and below.

The imagery on offer here is a lot more fun and interesting than the boring, approved-by-committee concoctions that fill most other game manuals--especially modern ones.





Of course, there's more to this mini Hana Taaka Daka!? how-to guide than fabulous, manga-inspired visuals. There's also a bunch of information about the game's story, characters, modes, items and enemies.



Thankfully, cartoonish illustrations accompany all of those explanations.



That's great for comic lovers, of course, but it's also great for folks who don't know a lick of Japanese. How so? The drawings in question do a surprisingly good job of cluing in all readers--even ones who only understand English, for example--as to how Hana Taaka Daka!? operates.



As suggested earlier, this far from the only Taito-designed manual to showcase such art. Want to see a few others? Check out my "Manual Stimulation" posts devoted to the PC Engine ports of Don Doko Don, Mizubaku Daibouken and The New Zealand Story.

Also, you can peruse all of the "Manual Stimulation" posts I've published over the years--and, believe me, I've published a ton of them--by clicking here. And if that thrills you? Why not scroll through all of my "Nice Package!" write-ups which, as you probably can guess from that series' title, feature information about and photos of a particular game's packaging (including its outer box or case, its cartridge or disc and its instruction manual).

Nice Package! (Moon: Remix RPG Adventure + UFO: A Day in the Life, PlayStation)

I can't say for sure which "modern" game system boasts the biggest and best selection of odd and off-the-wall titles, but I'm inclined to suggest it's the original PlayStation.

Admittedly, arguments could be made in favor of the Famicom (NES), the DS and even the PC Engine, but at the moment I'm leaning toward Sony's maiden console thanks in large part to the pair of games that serve as the focus of this post.

In case this is the first you've heard of these titles, both are wackadoodle adventures conjured up by the wizards at Love-de-Lic, Inc. That name may ring a bell if you're a fan of some other out-there games, like Chulip, Giftpia, Little King's Story and Chibi-Robo! Not that Love-de-Lic developed those titles, mind you. They were made--in part, at least--by former Love-de-Lic employees, though. (Those staffers went on to form Punchline, skip and Vanpool.)

Love-de-Lic itself produced just three games during its disappointingly brief, five-year existence. One was 2000's L.O.L.: Lack of Love, a head-scratcher for Sega's Dreamcast. The others were the titles highlighted in the headline above--1999's UFO: A Day in the Life and 1997's Moon: Remix RPG Adventure.

I spent a number of years pining for Moon: Remix RPG Adventure before I finally bought it. That's because complete-in-box copies tend to be pricey. 

I lucked out and nabbed the one you see here for a veritable steal some months ago while perusing the wares of one of my favorite eBay vendors.

It isn't in pristine condition, mind you, but it's in good enough condition that I'm more than happy with the purchase.

Anyway, I really like Moon: Remix RPG Adventure's whimsical disc label, showcased in the photo above, for whatever reason.

Don't get me wrong, it's instruction manual is nice, too. It's definitely a bit on the "uh, wow" side, as the focus of the following snapshot should make clear, but that's part of its charm, don't you think?

Sadly, I've yet to even slip my Moon: Remix RPG Adventure disc into my adorable Japanese PSone system. I hope to rectify that soon, but I've said that many times before, so who knows when it'll actually happen.

Hell, it's possible the game's fan translation, which has been in the works for ages now, will be out before give this pick-up a go. Oh, well. 

I know for sure I'll play my copy of UFO: A Day in the Life before its fan translation sees the light of day. That's because, as far as I know, no one is working on a fan translation of this curious Japan-only release.



Which is too bad, as both Hardcore Gaming 101's and Wikipedia's write-ups about the game make it sound awfully interesting.

In particular, UFO's Wikipedia entry suggests the adventure on offer here is at least somewhat Chulip-esque. That intrigues me for reasons I can't quite explain, as the month I spent with that 2002 PS2 title a couple of years ago was trying at best.

Here's portion of the entry in question, should any of you want to read it: "UFO: A Day in the Life puts the player in the role of an extraterrestrial attempting to save a group of 50 fellow aliens who have been stranded on Earth. The player must navigate areas that humans and animals inhabit, unable to actually see the alien he or she is trying to rescue. To this effect, the player must use a device called 'COSMIC,' a kind of camera, to reveal the creatures. As more aliens are rescued, more areas open up and different times of day are available for exploration."

Honestly, though, even if UFO: A Day in the Life proves to be a smelly turd of a game, I want to play through as much of it as I'm able at some point in time.

Have any of you played either of these Love-de-Lic products? If so, what did or do you think about them? Let me and others here know in the comments section below.

Also, if you'd like to see a few more snapshots like the ones above, pay a visit to my Flickr photostream.

See also: previous 'Nice Package!' posts

Shall We Do It? (Flying Hero, Ghosts 'n Goblins, Kickle Cubicle, Pooyan and Son Son)

You know what I've been daydreaming about for the last few weeks? Someday having a small, cozy den with a with a rather modest TV and an original Famicom system set up in its far corner.

Oh, and within reach of that TV and Famicom would be a small selection of pick-up-and-play Famicom games, of course. Like Flying Hero, Meikyūjima (aka Kickle Cubicle) and Pooyan.

Thanks to those daydreams, I spent a good number of minutes and even hours playing the above-mentioned games--along with a few others, like Jaleco's Racket Attack--this past weekend. Here are some thoughts on them, in case anyone's interested.

Flying Hero--I chat about this game here and on Twitter on a regular basis, I know. The fact is, though, that it's really great title for when you've only got time--or energy--for a couple of minutes of gaming. I've got to warn you, though: if you're anything like me, you'll very likely put more than a couple of minutes into this Arkanoid-esque cart whenever you stick it into your trusty Famicom (or, you know, boot up its ROM on your PC). Me, I usually dump at least 30 minutes into it during each attempt--and even then I have to pull myself away from it. What's the draw here? I guess I just like bat-and-ball games with an interesting twist. (See my ages-old review of Wizorb for additional evidence.) Plus, I really like all of the little details that are packed into Flying Hero; namely, a wealth of different settings, NPCs and power-up items.

Ghosts 'n Goblins--Here's another game I've long ignored. In this case, though, I know why I've given it the cold shoulder: it's hard as hell. To the point that previous experiences with it usually caused me to want to slam my controller into the nearest wall. Still, I felt like playing it last weekend so that's just what I did. And you know what? I mostly enjoyed it. I've always been a big fan of this game's graphics, and I like its controls quite a bit, too. And then there's the soundtrack, which creates the perfect atmosphere for all of the monster bashing that's to come. OK, so I suck at this spooky side-scroller--known as Makaimura in its country of origin--and I'm not going to see its end credits (or even its third stage, if I'm to be honest) anytime soon, but I think I'll still get a kick out of playing it every now and then.

Kickle Cubicle--I'm honestly bamboozled by the fact that I've barely spent any time with this Irem-made action-puzzler over the years. It seems right up my alley, after all. Not only does it have a cute-as-buttons protagonist, but its enemies (if you can call them that) are adorable, too. And then there's the fact that it features tons of collectible fruit and vegetables and other food items--and that's always been something that piqued my interest. On top of all of that, this cartridge's gameplay is addicting as can be. It actually reminds me of other great titles from the same period--like Adventures of Lolo and Bubble Bobble. They're not all of the same genre, naturally, but they all come from the same "just one more level" mold. Speaking of which, I kind of want to get back to it now.

Pooyan--Although Pooyan was released for the Famicom just over two years after Nintendo's console first hit the streets of Japan, it began life in 1982 as an arcade game. That makes a lot of sense when you sit down and play this late-to-the-party home port. Pooyan's a fairly straightforward and basic quarter-muncher with few bells and whistles. You control a pig who has to defend her forest home from a seemingly endless swarm of balloon-carrying wolves. Oh, and you do this by firing arrows--some of which strangely contain chunks of meat--at said canids. Don't worry, it's less weird while you're actually playing it. It's also a lot of fun--if fairly limited from a gameplay perspective. Still, I get the urge to play it on a regular basis, so obviously it does something right despite being more than a little archaic.

Son Son--This Capcom title is in the same boat as Pooyan, actually. It, too, is an old arcade game (first released in 1984) that earned a Famicom port a couple of years later. Also, Son Son doesn't offer players a whole lot of variety when it comes to gameplay. Basically, you're put into the shoes of a chibi version of the "Monkey King" and tasked with, well, I'm not exactly sure. Regardless, from the moment the game starts, you're on the move--this is an auto-scrolling platformer, if you weren't aware--and forced to jump between six platforms, shoot oncoming baddies and collect pieces of food. Although the look of the platforms changes (from grass, to brick, to stone and more), as do the approaching enemies, you see all you're going to see from Son Son shortly after you hit your Famicom's "Start" button. Some may consider that a negative, but not me. I like that this is a streamlined experience. Don't expect more than that when you sit down to play it and you'll have a good time, too.

See also: previous 'Shall We Do It?' posts