A somewhat gay review of Escape Goat (XBLIG)

Game: Escape Goat

Genre: Platformer/Puzzler

Developer: Magical Time Bean

Publisher: Magical Time Bean

System: Xbox 360

Release date: 2011

I'm sure this will sound weird to some, but games like Escape Goat were chiefly responsible for me getting off my butt and picking up an Xbox 360 just over a year ago. I know Microsoft's second console has plenty of high-quality "packaged" games, but I didn't buy the system for those. (Deadly Premonition being the exception, of course.) Rather, I bought it so I could play the accessible, attractive and cheap titles that are par for the course on the system's XBLA and XBLIG services and that can called upon whenever I find myself longing for a little digital entertainment but don't have a ton of time to expend on it. Well, the focus of this particular review checks all of those boxes and then some. For starters, Escape Goat keeps things simple by providing players with a fairly small set of moves--the titular (purple) goat can run, jump, double jump, dash and air dash, while his beady-eyed friend (an orange mouse) can squeeze into otherwise inaccessible areas--which allows them to focus on the devilishly puzzling stages that are packed into this downloadable title. Actually, I shouldn't suggest all of Escape Goat's Rube Goldberg-esque single-screen stages, each of which takes place in a prison of sorts (you've been locked up for practicing witchcraft, apparently) and tasks players with making their way from a starting point to a (typically blocked or locked) door while pushing blocks, hitting switches and avoiding various obstacles and enemies, are devilish--in reality, a good number of the first ones are quite easy. Many later levels are sure to stump all but the brainiest of gamers, though. Thankfully, the sounds and views that can be heard and seen while playing Escape Goat are appealing enough to make even the most stressful and confounding moments enjoyable (or at least acceptable). The title's wonderfully rendered graphics, for instance, evoke the good ol' days of the Genesis--always a good thing in the opinion of this aging gamer. Also a good thing: The little touches that are strewn throughout this title's 50 levels, like the humorous animation that's triggered whenever Mr. Goat nears the edge of a ledge. The game's soundtrack is similarly noteworthy and is comprised of a number of suitably-epic tunes. With all of that said, the only negative comment I can make about Escape Goat is that it ends a little too quickly and that it likely won't be a game you'll return to after beating it. Considering it'll set you back just a buck (80 Microsoft Points), though, that's really not much of a problem, is it?

See also: Previous 'somewhat gay' reviews

Wizorb has awesome box art

Which is funny, because this Jonathan Lavigne-developed Breakout-clone-slash-RPG is--or will be, once it's finally released--a download-only (for Xbox 360, via XBLIG) affair.

Sadly, Wizorb doesn't yet have a release date. It does, however, have a rather scintillating-looking trailer, which can be viewed on Lavigne's blog, pixeltao.ca.

A somewhat gay review of Platformance: Castle Pain (Xbox Live Indie Games)

I've got to give it to the crew at Magiko Gaming: They came up with the perfect title for their maiden Xbox Live Indie Games release. After all, not only is Platformance: Castle Pain a platformer, but it's also set in and around a castle and is a complete pain in the ass to play.

Granted, the game is supposed to be a pain in the ass to play. You see, it's one of those  "extreme platformers"--like another XBLIG release, Aban Hawkins & the 1000 SPIKES, or like the infamous Sunsoft side-scroller, Atlantis no Nazo.

This is the main view you'll have while playing Platformance: Castle Pain. 

For those of you who have never played, let alone heard of, those games, both of them present players with so many obstacles and traps that it's nearly impossible to complete them without dying numerous times. Platformance: Castle Pain follows in their harrowing footsteps, with countless fireballs, spikes and other such terrors placed between the start and finish of the single-screened title. 

Thankfully, Platformance: Castle Pain eschews "lives" completely. Yes, that means you're free to die as often as you'd like. Even then, though, it's is far from a pixelated walk in the park--due, mainly, to the presence of an ambling ghost that follows the player's path and acts as a timer of sorts. (Basically, the game ends if the ghost catches up to and touches you.)

Hit the 'x' button on your Xbox 360 pad and you'll zoom out a bit.

Mr. Ghost isn't much of a problem as long as you play Platformance: Castle Pain on easy. Play the game on medium or hard, though, and he becomes an ever-present reminder that if you don't keep moving you'll soon find yourself staring at a "game over" screen.

Although that imbues the game's easiest mode with a good amount of tension, it could be argued that it adds a bit too much tension to its more difficult modes--especially when combined with the title's overabundance of obstacles and slightly slippery controls.

Hit 'x' button again and you'll see the entire stage. 

That's about the only complaint I can lodge against this uniquely constructed platformer--which, suitably enough, takes place within the confines of a picture frame. I say suitably because Platformance: Castle Pain, with its 8-bit-esque graphics, is a sight to behold. 

Just as beautiful is the game's soundtrack, which begins rather generically (not to mention regally) before transforming into something that could easily be mistaken for the best game tune you've never heard. Translation: It rocks--just like (most of) the rest of this 80 MSP ($1) game.

See also: 'A somewhat gay review of Lesbian Spider-Queens of Mars'

My first free game as a blogger: The Most Addicting Sheep Game

May 4 was a rather momentous day for me and this blog. How so? Well, as the headline above suggests, it's when I received my first free game as a blogger.

Granted, the game in question--Justin Southey's The Most Addicting Sheep Game--would have set me back just a buck if I'd actually bought it, but that's beside the point.

What isn't beside the point is that I've already had a lot of fun playing this rhythmic Xbox Live Indie Games release, which requires players to "run, jump and roll to the beat."



I have a feeling the last few levels shown in the video above are going to trip me up terribly, but I also have a feeling they're going to cause me to laugh uncontrollably.

Can you ask anything more of a game that costs a buck?

Say hello to my spiffy new Xbox Live Arcade (and Indie Games) player

Last week, Amazon.com offered shoppers a pretty sweet deal on four-gig Xbox 360 systems: Buy one and they'd give you a $50 promotional credit that could be used toward future purchases.

I've been waiting for such an opportunity for quite some time, so I jumped on it. The system arrived on Friday afternoon and shortly after I ordered a 4,000 Xbox Live Points Card with my $50 credit (which arrived on Saturday, surprisingly enough).

So far, I've used that points card to pick up a number of Xbox Live Arcade and Indie Games releases, including Arkedo Series--03 PIXEL!, Kaiten Patissier, Miner Dig Deep, Pac-Man Championship Edition, Pac-Man Championship Edition DX and Protect Me Knight.

I have my eye on a few others--like Braid, Castle Crashers, Costume Quest, Limbo, Might & Magic Clash of Heroes, Nin-2 Jump and Trouble Witches Neo--but I'm going to spend some quality time with the titles above before buying any of them.

Anyway, of the games I currently own my favorite, by far, is Pac-Man Championship Edition. I'm not very good at it, but I don't care--it's so addictive and so fun that I can't stop playing it.

Mamotte Knight: Not your mother's tower defense game

At least, that's blogger PepsimanVsJoe's assessment of the just-released Xbox LIVE Indie Games title.

"It's a unique take on the genre that combines chaotic action with just the right amount of strategy for some of the most fun I've gotten out of the XBL Indie Service," he opines in his rather rambling (in a good way) review.

PepsimanVsJoe's lone point of contention with the Ancient-developed title? The inability to play it on line.

"Oh, sure, the game is more than enough fun by yourself," he writes, "but if you're like me and all your friends would rather play World of Warcraft or Call of Duty, well, that's just too bad."

I can understand the gripe, as I'd certainly be restricted to playing the $3 game alone if I picked it up--which I would if, you know, I had an Xbox 360.

Speaking of which, what do you think are the chances Microsoft will drop the system's price to $99 at the upcoming E3 event?

See also: 'SAVE ME ... MY HERO! DEFEAT F$%KIN' GOBLINS!'

'We do not see piracy as [a] big evil'

That's just one of the many interesting things Camille Guermonprez, founder of Paris-based Arkedo Studio, has to say in this recent interview with EDGE magazine's Chris Donlan.

Case in point:

"We acknowledge that a large number of copies have been pirated for both games (Nervous Brickdown and Big Bang Mini), but we don’t think of them as lost sales. Rationally, we try to give people a reason to buy our games, like pricing them below the usual price, taking extra care for the game manual with silly jokes or making lenticular sleeves like we did for Big Bang Mini."

A scene from Arkedo Series 03: Pixel!

Also:

"Sales [of the Arkedo Series titles] are decent, but do not cover expenses yet. That’s okay, because we see XNA as a quick way to give birth to games, and then we’ll see what we do with them after that. Pixel!, for instance, was kind of proof that the concept worked, and I would not be too surprised to see other iterations from Pastagames out of this original idea."

By the way, Guermonprez mentions at the end of the interview that the Arkedo Series may soon show up on PSN. "The good news is that it will not be just a compilation," he says. "It will be our first time on PSN, so we want to come with something more."

See also: 'Shucks, this could have been a cool game ...' and 'Is it strange that I want a 360 just so I can play XBLA games?'

'SAVE ME ... MY HERO! DEFEAT F$%KIN' GOBLINS!'

A retro-styled RPG/TD title will soon hit Microsoft's Xbox LIVE Indie Games service, and of course it has me jonesing for an Xbox 360.

The name of said game is Mamotte Knight, which apparently translates to Protect Me Knight.

Here's the kicker: It's being made by Ancient, Yuzo Koshiro's development studio. (Koshiro is best known for creating the soundtracks for such 16-bit classics as ActRaiser (and its sequel), the Bare Knuckle/Streets of Rage series and The Revenge of Shinobi. More recent additions to his resume: 7th Dragon and Etrian Odyssey I, II and III.)

Here's how Mamotte Knight looks in action:



According to andriasang.com, Mamotte Knight will be released soon ("this spring," specifically).

Do you think Xbox 360s will be down to $99 by that time? Nah, I don't think so either.

(Via andriasang.com and NeoGAF.com)