Thursday, March 11, 2010

You don't say: New Super Mario Bros. Wii is a 'homosexual recruiting tool'

Did you know that New Super Mario Bros. Wii isn't just a game? According to Rev. Jim Osborne of the Landover Baptist Church, it's also a "homosexual recruiting tool."

What prompted Rev, Osbourne to point his pastoral finger at the platforming plumber's latest outing (pun intended)? For starters, posted photos of some of its readers attending a launch party for the game. Also, I hyped its release in a post titled, "The headline says it all: 'New Super Mario Bros. Wii is as hard as Contra.'"

More evidence that Mario is trying to recruit the gays? I think so...

"I think 'hard' is a double entendre that doesn't just mean 'difficulty,' if you catch my drift," Rev. Osbourne opined in this post. (He also believes Contra is a homosexual recruiting tool, BTW.)

Rev. Osbourne isn't the first member of the Freehold, Iowa-based church to rant and rave about the Mario series' subliminal gayness. A few years ago, a certain Jeb Thurmond wrote the following about Super Mario Galaxy: "This game is just another homosexual recruiting tool made by the neo-sodomites of Ninendo."

Note: The Landover Baptist Church is a fictional Baptist church based in the fictional town of Freehold, Iowa, and Rev. Jim Osborne is its fictional director of fundraising and tithing.


Bryan Ochalla said...

Here's another of Jeb Thurmond's forum posts, by the way--in case anyone's interested:

Bryan Ochalla said...

Oh, and thanks to reader Genoskill for pointing out these hilarious articles/posts!

Viewtiful_Justin said...

Wow. So...he's satirical? Did I read that correctly? I certainly hope so.

Hey, I did say it was the most fun I ever had with four other guys while being fully

Bryan Ochalla said...

Yep, you read it correctly! I probably should have been more straightforward in my post, but I couldn't help myself :)