A slick haiku

I have to admit, I'm pretty amazed that I'm still playing Dragon Quest IX--despite the fact that I "beat" it last weekend.

I think the cute-as-buttons slime "enemies" have something to do with the cartridge's extended stay in my trusty DSlite. I'm a bit obsessed with the little suckers at the moment, to tell you the truth. Specifically, I'm obsessed with the Metal King Slimes that can be found on the ninth floor of the (level 58) "Gold Waterway of Dolour" grotto.

In fact, I'm so taken with Dragon Quest's oh-so-slippery mascot that I wrote a haiku about her/him/it:

You look so friendly
Welcoming eyes and wide grin
So why do you flee?

Yeah, I know--I won't quit my day job.

(By the way, go here to see the full version of the slime photo above.)

Speaking of PSP demos...

After I downloaded the Valkyria Chronicles II demo yesterday, I also downloaded the demo for Hot Shots Tennis: Get a Grip.

Honestly, I'm having a better time with the latter. Of course, it looks and plays a lot like the Mario Tennis games--which I adore--so that shouldn't be much of a surprise.



Anyway, the demo definitely has whetted my appetite for more of this game, which I just placed on my all-too-lengthy "to buy" list.

Considering Hot Shots Tennis: Get a Grip costs just $19.99 (order it here), I'll probably pick it up sooner or later--certainly sooner than I'll pick up the $40 Valkyria Chronicles II.

By the way, Amazon is selling the PS2 version of Hot Shots Tennis for just $8.15 at the moment. Here's a link.

See also: 'No longer a Valkyria virgin'

No longer a Valkyria virgin

Mark my words: The day I finally get my hands on a PS3 also will be the day I finally get my hands on a copy of Sega's tactical RPG, Valkyria Chronicles.

In the meantime, I'll make do with that game's PSP sequel (titled, amazingly enough, Valkyria Chronicles II)--or, rather, the demo of that game's PSP sequel, which hit the PlayStation Store earlier this week.

I've only played it for a few minutes, but I definitely like what I've seen so far. Will it prompt me to plop down $40 (the game's MSRP) for the full thing when it hits store shelves on Aug. 31? Let me get back to you on that, OK?

Pre-order: Valkyria Chronicles II

It's pink, so of course I like it

Yeah, you heard that right--I like the color pink. You gotta problem wif dat? (That's me trying to affect a thuggish accent, by the way.)

Another reason I like the following piece: It's pixel-y and its design was pulled from that all-but-forgotten NES classic, Contra Force. Oh, and it has a fabulous name: FrankenBury, the WIDOWMAKER. (Caps courtesy of artist Ashley Anderson.)



What's the point of an acrylic-on-poplar pistol, you ask? According to Anderson, you can "wear them on your belt to a Contra Force party," or, even better, you can "hang them on your wall beside your real glocks and desert eagles." Unfortunately, he adds, "you will be hard-pressed to roll up on some fool and straight blast them with these guns."

Still, if I had the dough I'd totally drop $50--Anderson's asking price over on etsy.com--on one of these fierce sculptures.

See also: '10048'

Show me the money

A few weeks ago, someone contacted me via flickr and asked if I'd be willing to sell my copy of GamePro magazine's second issue (below).

I declined, although I'm not entirely sure why. After all, I rarely flip through that particular magazine, and I'm not saving it so I can sell it for more money at some later date.

It's a good thing I'm not holding out for bigger bucks, because according to this gamasutra.com article--penned by Kevin Gifford, author of one of my favorite gaming sites, magweasel.com--such a tactic is unlikely to be successful.

By the way, if you'd like to flip through issues of old gaming magazines without dropping a single dime on them, check out old-computer-mags.com and retromags.com.

A Peach of a pinup

If I were forced at gunpoint--hey, it could happen--to pick my favorite 8-bit Super Mario Bros. game, I'd probably go with Super Mario Bros. 2.

And if the gunman--or gunwoman--made me choose a favorite character from said game? I'd point to Princess Peach (aka Princess Toadstool).

As such, it shouldn't be much of a shock to hear me say (see me write?) that I'm a big fan of the following piece of art, produced by deviantartist pluckylump.

See also: 'Catch the Squirrel' and '10048'

Been there, done that

If I were a betting man, I'd wager that artist kevin10992 and I have had some similarly depressing and disastrous Super Mario Kart experiences over the years.

I mean, how else do you explain the following t-shirt design, which kevin10992 recently submitted to the folks at threadless.com:

Speaking of threadless.com, I have a feeling the site is going to start selling the Pac-Man-inspired 'Medium Difficulty,' which I first mentioned in this post, soon. Its "final average score" was 3.76 (out of 5) which, according to the site's commenters, is a "killer score."

Consider my fingers crossed...

'The gilrs have heart pain...'

A number of screenshots of the Nippon Ichi-Imageepoch "girl-punishing" RPG, Criminal Girls, hit the Interwebs earlier today.

I don't know if it's because I'm gay or if it's because I'm a writer, but this was the first screenshot to grab my attention:



(Note: the text near the bottom of the screen says, "The gilrs have heart pain..." )

That said, this was the second screenshot to grab my attention:



I'm pretty sure the screenshot above was pulled from one of the game's rumored spanking sequences, by the way.

See also: 'Nothin' like a good spanky'

It ain't over 'til fatguts sings

Late last week, in this post, I mentioned that I'd either beat more of Dragon Quest IX's grottoes or tackle the game's final boss over the weekend. I ended up doing both.

The latter task was accomplished after playing the game for just over 82 hours (yes, 82 hours), by the way. In that time, I won 2,142 battles and completed 29 quests. Oh, and I performed alchemy a whopping one time.

What's next? Well, I conquer more grottoes and complete more quests, I guess. I probably should spend some quality time with the Krak Pot (right), too, don't you think?

See also: 'Slime dunk' and 'I don't want it to end'

More like Incongruous Warriors

So, I was just virtually flipping through the retro reviews on videogameden.com when I came across the site's write-up for the Famicom classic, Ikari (aka Ikari Warriors in the West).

Actually, it took me a few minutes to make my way to the review text, as the game's cover art (below) literally stopped me in my tracks.

I mean, have you ever seen a video game box cover that's so ... incongruous?