Haggar the whore-ible (or, enjoying the carnal pleasures of the sexy, gay, Final Fight-esque brawler, Strange Flesh)

I don't often write about "adult" games here.

Of course, I don't often play such games, either, and that's not because I'm a prude or because I otherwise turn my nose up at them.

Actually, I love playing games that titillate--especially if that titillation is aimed at the LGBT community.



Unfortunately, few games featuring content that's both adult and gay ever ping my radar. Besides the one discussed here, the only others that have done so in recent years are the steamy visual novel, Coming Out on Top, and the surprisingly sexy bullet-hell shmup, Sugar Shooter. (I've also written about the beef-tastic JRPG called Ana Holic!, but I've yet to play it.)

Given all of the above, it shouldn't be surprising to hear I was more than a bit excited when I first became aware of Strange Flesh (via this eye-opening--not to mention NSFW--teaser image) just before its release in late October.

At least, I was excited until I discovered the game was an old-school beat 'em up in the same vein as Double Dragon, Final Fight, Golden Axe, River City Ransom--you know the drill.

You see, although I've long been intrigued by side-scrolling brawlers like the ones I just named, I've rarely enjoyed playing them. Or maybe I should say I've only enjoyed playing them to a point. A few stages in, I'm bored to tears and ready to tackle something--anything--else.



Still, I decided to give Strange Flesh a chance. An hour or so later, I walked away. Not because I'd grown tired of it, as I seemingly always do with these kinds of games, but because I'd beaten it.

Granted, Strange Flesh only offers up four stages, so finishing it isn't the most noteworthy of accomplishments. I actually appreciated its brevity, though. Far too many games these days--free or otherwise--require you to dedicate hours upon hours to them. Encountering one that asks for about 45 minutes of your time is refreshing.

You know what else I found refreshing about Strange Flesh? Its graphics, soundtrack, and gameplay. All three components are so convincingly "late 1980s beat 'em up" it's hard not to be astounded by them.

Actually, that statement needs to be amended just a bit. After all, while the bulk of Strange Flesh acts, looks, and sounds like a game that came out alongside Golden Axe and Final Fight, neither of those quarter-munchers (nor any of their counterparts, as far as I'm aware) feature gameplay, graphics, or music that could be considered "adult."



Strange Flesh, on the other hand, is full of such content. Hell, you'll see something eyebrow-raising every few steps as you play through this PC game. (Download it or launch its browser version at greatestbear.com.)

After you punch, kick, and tackle the game's "figments" and "projections" (all of the action here takes place in the player's mind), you, uh, "finish them off," too--and you do so in various ways that would make most moms blush, or worse.

Speaking of which, a little disclaimer: if regularly witnessing pixelated depictions of gay sex (some of which are kinkier than others) turns you off, you should stay far away from Strange Flesh.

Which isn't to say that's all there is to this title. The core gameplay is both smooth and satisfying, even when controlled via keyboard-button presses. (Note: this is how I played through Strange Flesh. Three times.) In fact, I'd go so far as to say that if Strange Flesh were fornication-free, it would be well worth a look by all fans of the genre.



As things stand, though, it's hard to give it a blanket recommendation. Although I'm sure some straight folks will get a kick out of it, many more likely will find it disgusting or distasteful. I have the feeling the same could be said of a sizable portion of the LGBT community.

Still, I can't be the only person in the world who finds the idea of playing a pervy, gay Double Dragon clone thrilling. To anyone who feels similarly, I say: give Strange Flesh a try.

See also: Strange Flesh's spot-on instruction manual

I'm stoked about the unveiling of Sushi Striker (3DS), and not simply because some of its characters are beefy studs

What's Sushi Striker, you ask? A sushi-themed puzzler that's being developed for the 3DS by indieszero (of Electroplankton, Retro Game Challenge and Theatrhythm: Final Fantasy fame).

Nintendo revealed it a couple of days ago during E3 2017 and at the same time mentioned it will release sometime in 2018.

Unfortunately, it's not yet known if Sushi Striker (full title--Sushi Striker: The Way of Sushido) will be sold via retail or if it'll be relegated to the 3DS eShop.

What is known, beyond the aforementioned facts, about this "conveyor belt sushi puzzle action" game (that's Nintendo's official description of it) is that it's stuffed to the gills with musclebound studs.

Don't believe me? Feast your thirsty eyes on the following:

I don't know about you, but the last guy is the most visually appealing to yours truly.

Not into men? No worries. The game also features a bevy of attractive women--as is made abundantly clear in Sushi Striker's first trailer.

Does any of the above have you salivating over the 2018 release of this yummy-looking (in more ways than one) puzzle game? Chat about it with me and others in the comments section of this post.

See also: 'The best 3DS eShop games you've never played (or, 10 overlooked 3DS eShop games you need to try as soon as possible)'

Dear Marvelous: make a gay version of Uppers (Vita) and I'll gladly buy two copies

I know there's no real chance that what I'm suggesting here will happen, but I'm going to suggest it anyway.

After all, I can't imagine there are many male gay gamers out there who wouldn't like to see and play a same-sex version of the following over-the-top beat 'em up.

Granted, I'm not calling for the folks at Marvelous, led by Senran Kagura producer Kenichiro Takaki, to simply replace the ladies in Uppers, their upcoming Vita release, with men--which seemingly would mean a whole lot of scenes showing the game's muscly protagonists motorboating the pecs of their similarly manly onlookers.



Actually, I'd be fine if they did just that, but I'd prefer something a bit more creative. For example, they could give Uppers: Gay Edition a kind of worship-y vibe by having the aforementioned onlookers (who would be guys, just in case it needs to be repeated) squeeze the brawlers' muscles or even bury their faces in the studs' armpits.

What do you think? Am I alone in finding such a scenario appealing, or would some of you like to experience it, too? Or maybe you'd like to see something similar, but aimed at gay women? In that case, how would you want its content to differ from what's showcased in the trailer above?

Even if you don't agree with me and my idea, what is your opinion of the version of Uppers the world (Japan, in particular) will get in a few months? Do you think it's trashy and crass, or do you think it looks like childish fun?

This better mean Nintendo's planning to release a 'Machoke Movers' 3DS menu theme tout de suite

Just over a year ago (or just under a year ago, if you don't own a Japanese 3DS), Nintendo dropped a 3DS menu theme that changed lives from one side of the globe to the other.

I'm talking about this Slowpoke-centric theme, of course.

OK, so it only changed my life. Still, that's pretty impressive considering the life-changer in question is a lousy home menu theme.

Anyway, as mind-blowing as that Slowpoke theme was and continues to be, I'm pretty sure a similar creation based on the following Japanese commercial would be even more so.



Seriously, who would use anything other than a "Machoke Movers" 3DS menu theme if such a concoction were released?

I'm going to guess next to no one.

So, please make this happen, Nintendo and Pokémon Company. And make it happen soon.

(Via tinycartridge.com)

It's hard to imagine a game called Fantastic Boyfriends being anything less than brilliant

I haven't played too many mobile games since I bought my first real smartphone a few months ago, but I'm planning to buy this one.

Of course, how could I not when it's called Fantastic Boyfriends: Legends of Midearth?

Also, it features all kinds of hot, burly men (of the manga variety, admittedly, but I'll take what I can get) and its translation is being worked on by a very good friend of mine, Chic Pixel's Anne Lee.



As for what Fantastic Boyfriends is beyond being a mobile game stuffed with hunks, well, the gist is that it combines elements of the RPG and dating-sim genres.

Sadly, the latter aspect appears to be more PG-rated than X-rated, but that's how it goes when you want your game to make it onto the Apple and Android app stores.

If that's acceptable to you, and you'd like to know more about Fantastic Boyfriends and maybe even throw a bit of monetary support behind it, head over to its Indiegogo page.



The game's developers, Lifewonders, are looking to garner $20,000 by the time the above-mentioned fundraising campaign ends in 30 days.

A note for those of you who may be riding the fence (as to whether or not to hand over a few bucks Fantastic Boyfriends' makers): this particular Indiegogo effort is of the "fixed funding" sort, which means that if it fails to reach its goal, all money will be returned to contributors.

What do you say? Are any of you planning to back this sucker? Or maybe you've already done so?

'Sweet dream' indeed ...

I don't know about you, but I haven't run into many examples of NSFW-ish fan art devoted to Nintendo's pugilistic Punch-Out!! series over the years--which, in my humble opinion, is a crying shame.

Sadly, the piece of saucy fan art below (titled "Sweet Dream") doesn't include Little Mac, but it's so appealing even without his presence that I won't spend too much time complaining about the oversight.

This drawing was produced by the hand of artist Pauli Kohberger (aka madamluna), by the way. To see more of her stuff, check out her deviantart gallery (which contains a number of additional Punch-Out!!-inspired pieces) or her site, Electric Stories.

See also: 'Kirby and Meta Knight en fleur'

Who doesn't like muscle bears with shiny butts?

Wait, you didn't come here thinking this would be a Video Games Made Me Gay-esque post showcasing the hot, muscular bods of actual human males, did you? Or maybe you expected to encounter a post that's centered on the lascivious lads that populate Dudedle Studio's Sugar Shooter series?

If you did, please accept my apologies.

There is a muscular bear with a shiny butt at the heart of this particular post, though--although he's an actual bear (well, a cartoon one) rather than the figurative sort that make up a good portion of the gay community.

So, how many of you are now thinking to yourselves, I'll never look at Stitches (from the Animal Crossing series) the same way again? I'm guessing a good number of you.

The strip above was produced by the super-talented "Nightmare Bruce" who runs the Ribbon Black blog, by the way. Check out more of his adorable, New Leaf-inspired "This Week in Town" comics here.

An idea I could really get behind: Kevin Bolk's Manimal Crossing comic

Sadly, the above-mentioned idea is "just" a one-off, Animal Crossing-inspired comic that was created by cartoonist Kevin Bolk at the moment.

Who knows, though--maybe Bolk will create a whole series of Manimal Crossing strips (pun intended) if this first one really takes off.



To see more of Bolk's work, by the way, visit kevinbolk.com and/or kevinbolk.deviantart.com.

(Via mascotcomic.com)

Hubba hubba, part quatre

Can a single blog publish too many posts about the hottest hunks in video games? I hope not, as this is my fourth such post on the subject. (The first three can be found here, here and here. Oh, and the quatre mentioned in the headline is French for four, in case you didn't already know.)

Will I pen more of them in the future? I'd say it's pretty likely, although I don't have any particular studs in mind right now.

In the meantime, here's a look at the game-based beefcake that's been bouncing around in my brain as of late:

1. Simon Belmont (Castlevania: Lords of Shadow--Mirror of Fate)--Truth be told, I have little to no interest in the gameplay of this Konami-published 3DS title. I have quite a bit more interest, though, in two of its main characters: Trevor Belmont and Simon Belmont. As for why I decided to highlight the latter rather than the former in this post: Simon isn't afraid to show off his guns. Oh, and he's a ginge.

2. "Conversationalist" (Ana Holic!!)--Don't worry if neither this character nor the game in which he appears ring any bells. After all, Ana Holic!! is a Japanese PC game (a rather adult RPG, more specifically) made by the folks at Underground Campaign and, as such, it hasn't received much press outside of its home country. Given this guy's, er, "fashion sense," I'd have to say that's a crying shame, wouldn't you agree?

3. Marlon (Pokemon Black 2/White 2)--I realize that this choice is a bit suspect at first blush. In fact, I didn't even consider Marlon (aka Shizui) until after I came across the piece of fan art that can be seen above. Now that I've seen what a few years and a little time in the gym could do to him, though, I can't imagine this post without him.

Hot for Professor

I came across the photo below--of a rather steamy Professor Layton--while perusing the Boy Culture blog's coverage of New York Comic Con 2012 the other day.

You're far from alone if a feeling of déjà vu washes over you while taking in said photo, by the way. Apparently the guy posing (literally) as the esteemed Hershel Layton has appeared as a shirtless, muscled version of every gamer's favorite professor at numerous conventions and related events over the last few years.

In related news, did you know that someone actually created "an aggregate tumblr for general Hawt Proffy [as in, Professor Layton] stuff"? Well, you do now--and you can find it at hotforprof.tumblr.com.

I just perused the first few pages of said tumblr (for research purposes only, I assure you) and I'm sad, er, I mean happy to report that none of the drawings, illustrations and other images that I came across were of the not-safe-for-work variety.

Handre De Jager's BurgerTime

When Data East's BurgerTime was ported to the NES in 1985, its box art looked like this:

South African illustrator, animator, 3D modeler and digital music composer Handre De Jager thinks it should have looked more like the image below, given "the [often] inaccurate nature of 80's and early 90's video game cover art."

Although I can't say I agree entirely--mainly because I'm pretty fond of the box art we ended up with--I also can't say I dislike De Jager's illustration.

That said, it is a bit frightening, isn't it? Honestly, I'm not sure which aspect scares me more: The hot dog, the pickle or the egg.

(Thanks to Twitter user Alchemlx for turning me on to this creation.)

More bullets, more buff dudes, more ... butts?

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And now it's time for a posedown

In case you're wondering: Yes, the headline above is a not-so-thinly-veiled reference to that En Vogue chestnut of yesteryear (1992), "My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It)."

Amazingly, the oh-so-fabulous video for the aforementioned tune has nothing on the following video (of two people going crazy while playing the "Ring Side" mini-game in the Japanese version of Rhythm Heaven Fever), in my humble opinion:



Although I've already pre-ordered my copy of this wonderfully weird looking (and sounding) Wii game, I'm quite certain that I'm going to have to bite the bullet (and drop some cash) on the Japanese version, called Minna no Rhythm Tengoku, at some point--especially since it was revealed in this recent Iwata Asks column that one of Minna no Rhythm Tengoku's mini-games (this one) won't appear in the North American release.

Rhythm Heaven Fever hits store shelves in the States today, by the way. Buy it here, if you haven't done so already.

See also: Previous Rhythm Heaven Fever posts

Another day, another Sugar Shooter 2 demo

Did you download the Sugar Shooter 2 demo that I mentioned in this post early last week? If so, you may want to head back to the Dudedle Studio blog shortly, as a brand spanking new demo of this upcoming, bara-tastic, bullet-hell shmup was added to the site on Friday.



Said demo not only includes a number of bug fixes and other improvements, but it also includes (as far as I can tell) a second stage. So, download away--especially if you're at all interested in shooting the clothes off of a bevy of cartoonish bodybuilders.

Are you ready to blast the underwear off of another set of buff baddies?

You bet I am--especially if the bosses who appear in Sugar Shooter 2 are as cute (and, yes, as hot) as those who were featured in the first Sugar Shooter.

Unfortunately, I won't know if that's the case or not for a while, as this Mac/PC-based bullet-hell shmup, although finished, has only been sent to those who pre-ordered it thus far.

A note on the Dudedle Studio blog promises it will be made available to the rest of us shortly after the Japanese version drops on (or around) Feb. 19, though, so at least there's that.

In the meantime, why not busy yourself (as I am) by playing through the Sugar Shooter 2 demo that can be downloaded here?

Hubba hubba, part trois

It's been almost a year since I last wrote about the guys I consider to be gaming's hottest hunks, so I think it's about time I chimed in on this steamy subject once again, don't you?

The five studs below have been placed in alphabetical order, by the way. If I were to organize them from hottest to hot-but-not-quite-the-hottest, I'd probably put either Garcia Hotspur or Sigma in the pole position.

Chuck Greene (Dead Rising 2)--I included this series' dark-and-scruffily handsome Frank West in my first "Hubba Hubba" post, so why not include the blond-and-scruffily handsome protagonist of its second entry in this one? It helps, of course, that Greene looks more than a bit like actor Aaron Eckhart. Sure, he shows up as a psychopath in Dead Rising 2: Off the Record, but nobody's perfect, right?

Dunban (Xenoblade Chronicles)--Dunban is a special guy. Not only is he one of the few people capable of wielding the Monado, the legendary "energy blade" that serves as the centerpiece of this long-awaited Wii RPG, but he has a jaw so square it would make even Viggo Mortenson jealous. And then, of course, there's his flowing locks and muscular, tattooed torso. The only strike against this studly solider, as far as I can tell: He has a rather questionable sense of fashion. Oh, well, who wants to see him clothed anyway?

Enoch (El Shaddai)--To be completely honest, Enoch, the protagonist of this PS3/Xbox 360 action title, isn't my type. Oh, he's easy enough on the eyes, but he's just a bit too ... pretty for me. (I mean, look at that hair! Is Fabio his role model or something?) His guardian angel, Lucifel, on the other hand, is much more my cup of tea, if you get my drift. Still, I thought I should include a blond or two on this list, so there you go. (Pointless aside: Go here if you'd like to see some fan art that depicts Enoch and Lucifel "in flagrante delicto.")

Garcia Hotspur (Shadows of the Damned)--On the surface, Hotspur is your typical bad boy: He's covered in tattoos, he's got a facial scar, he has an affinity for leather (jackets, especially), his hair is dark and unkempt ... you get the picture, right? Dig a little deeper, though, and you discover that this questionably-named hunk has a softer side, too. (During the course of this Grasshopper Manufacture-made game, he goes to hell in order to save his true love.) Can I get an "awwwwwwwww"?

Sigma (Extreme Escape Adventure: Good People Die)--The Wikipedia entry for this upcoming Chunsoft-developed 3DS/Vita title says that Sigma, its main character, enjoys making risque jokes. In other words, he's pretty much the perfect guy. After all, it suggests he has a (crass) sense of humor as well as model good looks and a penchant for wearing what looks like a (form-fitting) mechanic's get-up. Be still my heart.

Honorable mentions: Hawke (Dragon Age II), Lucifel (El Shaddai), Reyn (Xenoblade Chronicles) and Skyrim's "Nude Muscle Bears" (link NSFW).

See also: 'Hubba hubba' and 'Hubba hubba, part deux'

And here I thought I had seen everything related to that ancient Billy Herrington meme

The always-fabulous Video Games Made Me Gay tumblog proved me wrong by highlighting the following video in a recent post:



I don't know about you, but I think it's a crying shame that no one ever took this idea and made it into a full-fledged racing game.

I mean, who wouldn't want to take control of a nearly naked Herrington as he rides his similarly muscular (and similarly lacking in clothing) bud in pursuit of ... whatever the hell it is they're chasing in the video above.

See also: 'Billy Herrington Tetris'

A dungeon-crawling, turn-based, X-rated RPG aimed at gay guys, you say? Put me down for a dozen (or more) copies!

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It seems Rhythm Heaven Fever's North American localization won't be completely terrible

I've watched more gameplay videos of the Japanese version of Rhythm Heaven Fever--called Minna no Rhythm Tengoku, or Everybody's Rhythm Heaven--than I'd like to admit. As a result, I've already come to love quite a few of this wacky Wii release's mini-games.

The mini-game I'm most in love with at the moment: The one many people are calling "Wrestler Interview." Here's a video of the Japanese version, in case you've yet to see it:



Given my propensity to worry about things that are completely pointless (not to mention beyond my control), I've been fretting for the last few months as to how this mini-game's vocal track will sound after it's been translated into English and re-recorded by an American voice actor. (Rhythm Heaven Fever will hit store shelves in North America on Feb. 13, by the way. Unfortunately, the European version of the game, which will be called Beat the Beat: Rhythm Paradise, is still without a firm release date.)

Well, I can stop worrying. Someone just uploaded to YouTube the localized (for North American audiences) version of this mini-game, which apparently will be called, "Ringside." Here it is:



Although I can't say I find the English vocals to be as cute or as energetic as those that appear in the Japanese version, I also can't say I find them completely terrible. What do all of you think?

In related news: The fabulously altered version of this mini-game that can be viewed here and that features a Brazilian "male escort" named Ricardo Milos continues to bring a smile to my face more than three months after it was first appeared on YouTube.

Pre-order: Rhythm Heaven Fever

(Via gonintendo.com, by way of tinycartridge.com)

More like Mesmerizing Man

My only beef with the video below is that it lasts just 55 seconds and, thus, feels a bit unfinished.

Other than that, though, I think it's fabulous.



I especially like how the three panels at the beginning of the video match up with the different parts of whichever Mega Man tune is playing in the background. (The one on the left goes with the bass notes, the one in the middle goes with the melody and the one on the right goes with the synth-y notes the float above it all.)

By the way, if you didn't get your fill of mash-ups featuring the Old Spice Man and a random game song by watching the video above, you may want to watch this one, too.

(Via dorkly.com, by way of gonintendo.com)